I just had a message from somebody about a post I wrote in November, recognising that being retired doesn’t mean you’ve all of a sudden got every single week free of nothing to do. I outlined my busy for that week, and reading it again, I was knackered all over again. And then I thought about where I was just this last week, when I was having a moan about how tiring all of this driving I’m doing is, but more than that, what a time stealer it was.
Writing last week, I had just driven almost 900 miles in 4 days around a family funeral, attending my choir practice, seeing my dad and going to a gig in Glasgow while I was on the road. I got home on Sunday afternoon, and had planned a further drive back to pick my dad up the following Wednesday (which was pushed back to accommodate my aunt’s funeral), to bring dad back here for a couple of weeks. And in those two days at home, I had a full day of stuff on the Monday, something else on the Tuesday morning, giving me just that Tuesday afternoon with no time scheduled for relaxing.
I suddenly hit exhaustion at 100mph…
So, after some serious juggling of my calendar, I suggested to dad that we just put everything back two weeks and reverse our plans. We originally had a visit to my bro in Newcastle planned for our return journey, with a lovely Airbnb already booked, so instead of detouring to see my bro on our trip back home for dad, we detour on our way here. It sounds ridiculously complicated (welcome to my world), but it has made the WORLD of difference to my head.
This week, I have had time. I have caught up on dusting, on plant watering, I jet washed the patio which is always satisfying, and I caught up on my Co-op job too. So much so that actually, I’m back to being in credit with my hours so that I don’t have to worry about being behind. I’ve been able to gym, and to swim. I’ve caught up on my book. And this afternoon, I even called in on a neighbour who I’d not seen for a while and said yes please to a coffee.
THIS is what I expected retirement to be like. And is definitely what I am working towards once we have dad here permanently.
There’s a way to go until I get to that point though. I do still have a whole pile of days lost to travel coming up between now and then. I’ve got a whole ‘from the bricks up’ rebuild of my kitchen to come which involves us moving everything out of the kitchen, pantry and dining room into the living room before moving out of the house for two whole weeks, and then moving everything back again. And we’ve still got dad’s house sale and move up here to manage, which will of course be all of the tiring all in one go for all of us. After which, we will ALL need a holiday, or at the very least a whole week of nothing in the diary. Including the boys.
But this isn’t just about me having a moan. Honest guv.
This is me reminding myself that I should remember to take control of those things that I can control, so that I have space in my calendar, and in my head, for those things that I cannot. I know this. This has been my mantra for ever. Seriously, for ever. But I had forgotten. So, I thought in addition to reminding myself, I can either remind you of the same, or bring that concept to you in the first place. This is my permission to you to say no to stuff that you don’t want or have to do, to buy yourself time and space to do the stuff that you do want to do. This is what I thought my retirement would be, and this is what I am definitely working towards as much as possible.
Cocktail Queen 